The pain that I'm
feeling right now is subtle compared to the previous pain that I have
experienced because of him. You might think it is a good thing but it's not. It will never be. I feel less
hurt because I have been in too much pain. And this pain that is supposed to
eat up my entire system cannot do anymore damage because there is not enough
pieces of my heart to be broken any further. I am numb. My heart is broken,
shattered. All of its pieces - gone, washed away by all the tears I spent for
him.
I have given every
ounce of love that I can afford to offer but all he did was hold my heart and
then crush it as hard as he can, leaving me with nothing - not even the vision
of myself, not even my hope of reemerging from despair. My soul is constantly tortured
by the memory of my heart being turned into fine, unrecognizable ashes. The memory is too far away from now
but it still lingers. The pain is engraved in my soul that it has become a part
of it.
