Phoenix

The pain that I'm feeling right now is subtle compared to the previous pain that I have experienced because of him. You might think it is a good thing  but it's not. It will never be. I feel less hurt because I have been in too much pain. And this pain that is supposed to eat up my entire system cannot do anymore damage because there is not enough pieces of my heart to be broken any further. I am numb. My heart is broken, shattered. All of its pieces - gone, washed away by all the tears I spent for him.

I have given every ounce of love that I can afford to offer but all he did was hold my heart and then crush it as hard as he can, leaving me with nothing - not even the vision of myself, not even my hope of reemerging from despair. My soul is constantly tortured by the memory of my heart being turned into fine, unrecognizable  ashes. The memory is too far away from now but it still lingers. The pain is engraved in my soul that it has become a part of it.