Just Dance

I never had a chance to be a chearleader. Do I wanna be cheerleader? Yes. I didn't have a chance to become one not because I have stage fright. I totally don't have that. I just really don't have the talent. Usually, I am confident, but NOT ever in dancing. I love dancing and when I am alone, I think I am the best dancer that ever lived on earth. I dance myself to the beat whenever I hear music, be it rock and roll, wild, mellow or even when there is no music at all. But how unfair life could be. Why did my parents kept inside the house when God was giving away dancing skills.

 I want to dance in front of a crowd. I am just too scared of how I would look like when I do. My body is off-beat just as my voice is off-pitch when I sing. I can still clearly remember Grade 6 when a friend of mine ask me to be one of her back-up dancers. She joined Little Miss SVES and asked me to dance with her for the talent portion. I didn't want to disappoint her, I wanted to say "No, I am a terrible dancer or I am not really a dancer for that matter" but I still said yes because I knew she'd never ask me to become one of her back-ups unless she needed it badly. Every afternnon after class we would practice the dance. I loved the feeling of moving my body to the beat but I can't take off my head from thinking how awkward my movements were. I couldn't follow the steps. I can do them slowly with the counts but I just couldn't synch in with the music. This was the very first moment that I proved myself that I am not really destined to be a dancer. I knew that moment that my friend's talent presentation was doomed. Good thing, I got myself out, I could't remember what happened exactly but one sure thing was I saved myself from dancing in front of the school.

First year high school came. One of the topics in my PE class was cheerdancing. Of course, there was the high school mantra of group yourselves together and create your own cheerdancing routines. I hope it was just that easy. My groupmates and I should pratice and choreograph our own routines (I swear, I was not included in the choreography committe. As far as I can remember, Charmina, Thee and Khaye had that gift.) Well, to cut the story short, I successfully survived the practice. But that was not the whole story. Undoubtedly, we should present the dance to our PE teacher and the whole class. The whole class - meaning my crush (well, that's Gatch, of course) was there because he was my classmate. It was so shameful. I just wanted to sing "I did it..  my way" and be killed by a shotgun that very moment.